Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
