i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
