just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize