I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
