Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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