did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
