At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
