if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
