At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
