i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
