it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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