Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
