My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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