Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize