I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
