pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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