I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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