So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
