Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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