Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
