I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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