Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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