you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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