You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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