Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
