"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
