I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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