just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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