I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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