I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
