Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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