She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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