at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
