You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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