Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
