moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Everything about him screamed your future.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
