So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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