my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
