worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
