and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
