From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
