I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
