my vag is so smooth its legendary
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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