you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
