please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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