There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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