what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
