im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
