AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
