You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
