Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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