Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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