You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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