Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
