Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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